Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Confessions of a First Grade mom

Today was the day. You remember last year around this time I dropped off my oldest at Kindergarten for the first time. I was a wreck! I came home and spent the whole day crying and baking yummy cupcakes just knowing that the sugary sweetness would take away all of my heart ache. But, it didn't.
Well, today I dropped off my baby for first grade and it was a great day. I don't know why but I felt so much peace about the whole event. Maybe it is because the terrible storms that came through the night finally calmed and moved on. Maybe it is because his teacher has been teaching longer than I have been alive and has been teaching at this school since before I got my license to drive. Maybe it is because she printed off the parent letter on really cool stationary so I think she is still super hip. Maybe it is because there are a hand full of friends in his class this year that were in his class last year so I know he will not be alone. Maybe it is because his Kindergarten teacher is across the hall so if his new teacher is mean then he can run across to her for consoling. Maybe it is because he was cool as a cucumber and walked right on in and flashed me a precious wave and a smile before finding his chair and getting started with his coloring page. I don't know.
What I do know is that I have been preparing a long time for this and this letting go phase is going to just get harder and harder and I will have to keep extending my arms up to the Father more and more to release all of my fears and worries. Two weeks ago we were at camp with our youth group and talked about this idea of Koininia, the idea of unity and community that what we have here on earth is a mere reflection of what is being prepared for us. I fully believe that we are surrounded by an amazing body of believers who have each had a part in shaping our little ones from early on, and for that we feel overwhelmingly blessed.

So today as I munched on almond kissed pancakes drenched in syrup while being surrounded by freshly sharpened pencils ready to be put to use on reams of crisp white paper, I felt at ease knowing that this is what we were created for. I pray that my baby will make me proud today as he makes new friends and a first impression on many around him. I pray that he will remember the rules of our house, like not hitting and being a peace maker and will put them into use. And I pray that he will remember that no matter how much I let him go that he can always run back into my arms and know that he is completely loved.

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